Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Becoming a Parent and Parenting

This weekend the "Modern Love" essay in the New York Times was particularly moving. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/13/fashion/13love.html?_r=1&n=Top%2fFeatures%2fStyle%2fFashion%20and%20Style%2fColumns%2fModern%20Love&oref=slogin
Of course, right after I read it, I wanted to send it to friends and talk about it with them. I read the piece twice on Sunday, the second time right before I went to sleep. Both times I was crying by the end of the essay. On Monday morning, a little while after everyone had woken up, I found myself staring at my two beautiful sons and feeling so grateful for them and so content just to sit there with them. The essay left me with more patience and gratitude than I've had in a while.

There's so much fear that surrounds being a parent, and we have no idea what the future will bring, what unexpected joys or tragedies we will face, who we and our children will become as we all age, but I hope that I will find, as Elizabeth Fitzsimons did, that I, too, am stronger than I thought.

6 comments:

Brian W. Thomas said...

Susan, my old friend:

I thought that I would get the ball rolling and post on your blog. I am so happy that you have reconnected and I'm really happy that you remain the generous person that you have always been--in your writing. I was in Kensington the other week across the street (I think) from where you and Matt were married. During this particular trip to Kensington, I was actually the officiant at the wedding of a friend, which was held at the community center. I thought of you that day and I think about you a great deal as I have moved through the circuitous independent school world. Let's vow to keep in touch, as you have done a great job at least once a year, sending me cards with your beautiful boys. Please check out my blog at www.learningbyheart.blogspot.com or at the Presidio Hill site under the Friday Letters "Director" category. That probably will tell you more about my recent goings on than anything else can or will. Until then...

Namaste,
Brian Thomas

P.S. Joe Coulson just published his second novel, _Of Song and Water_> We still keep in touch and are great friends.

Lynda said...

Susan,

I should be doing my work right now, but instead I read the NYTimes story that you suggested, and I'm so glad I did. I'm going to love keeping up with your thoughtful suggestions through this blog.

xo

Lynda

Martha said...

Susan,
Good wishes and congrats on entering the blog world. I already shared your link with Leslie Talmadge who I recently re-connected with (through Ellie Dwight).
Another blog I read regularly I thought you might be interested in: http://www.wifeinthenorth.com/index.html
A mostly parenting blog, but also sometimes just plain interesting writing...from Northern England.
Bill and I both read the Modern Love piece on Sunday and we came away very inspired.
Much love,
Martha

Sarah Morrow said...

Susan,

How perfect that you would create a blog! I look forward to reading it ongoing. I always love your suggestions!

This morning I got in our van to get the girls to school with tears wet on my cheeks from reading your link. Virginia was delighting in using the seatbelt strap as a hammock. Georgia was making her umteenth braid from her ball of yarn. Aberdeen was reviewing aloud the cast list for the first-grade play. (She is overjoyed to be the Wind.) And Bubba was patiently waiting in the passenger seat to go. No screaming or fusses getting out the door this morning--amazing! Amazing, because usually I feel utterly bogged down in the process of managing it. Gratitude is fleeting at best in the morning.

The article stopped me in my tracks, to soak up mothering through that mother's story. I gave bigger hugs than usual as my three scampered out the door to school, and I promised each girl in a whisper to specially rock them, long legs and all, at bedtime tonight. (Georgia whispered back that she was thinking we should do that every single night.)

I love that Lynda read the piece through the eyes of healing. We all carry these messages so specially to our own worlds. I'm so happy you are blogging!

love,
Sarah

Jessica Flaxman said...

Susan,
Your voice is already in my head every day -- I often run my thoughts through a Susan filter (what would Susan say? What would she do?) -- but now, thanks to your blog, I'll be able to know what's going on in your head as well! Is Catherine Newman already in your life? She is my favorite writer on parenting.
xoxoxojess

Rachel said...

I love seeing Sarah Morrow's comment and Jessica Flaxman's side by side -- two women I know from different places in my life and all connected through Susan!

I loved reading this article and see the truth in loving the child we have. My beautiful Noah and Carly are their own people and have their own complications and not-so-complications!

So Susan, thanks for starting up the blog; once again you have inspired me! I can't wait to read more.

love, Rachel